Caro progettista,
ti mando una pagina di diario, pubblicala se vuoi. Ho 66 anni, leggo il tuo forum con un certo interesse, I recently read the articles about the old and also speak with respect, so I thought I'd say mine.
Thursday 16 XII 2010
Wake up at 6:30, I shut the alarm sounds before, now I wake up five minutes before the alarm clock, then I get up, just look to pass in time, is a precise sequence of events, at 6:45 you hear the discharge of the flush on the floor above, then the sound of the shower. At seven o'clock my neighbor comes out and slams la porta di casa, poi sento i passi per le scale, ma non mi alzo, io non devo andare a lavorare, ho i ritmi rilassati, esco dal letto alle otto, poi il bagno e qui mi permetto un lusso, la vasca da bagno calda che è veramente un grandissimo conforto, anche se devo stare attento quando scavalco il bordo per non cadere. Resto nella vasca circa mezz’ora, non la misuro ma esco quando l’acqua comincia a raffreddarsi, oggi si è raffreddata prima del solito perché fa un freddo terribile. Amo le pantofole, le vestaglie lunghe e anche il cappellino di lana, perché dentro casa mia la mattina, l’inverno, fa freddo. Mi metto in abiti da casa e vado a sedermi in poltrona davanti al PC. Un occhio alla posta, but no one ever writes to me, if I have nothing to do I lay back on the bed until nine. At nine o'clock I get dressed to go out, some days I almost warrant it, as happened today, I go to the bar for breakfast, cappuccino and croissant, a different type every day. When it's cold I do not close, in the usual places, but today I went straight home, I took the mail in the mailbox, I put in clothes from home, I opened the bills to pay and put them in a drawer where I put all the things to deal with, then I switched to prepare the machine, which I touched on Friday, not much because I'm alone and I do not have many needs, I removed all the clothes that need washing and ironing daily, no shirts, except for special occasions, turtleneck sweaters and blouses for winter reading for the summer. At ten I went out for shopping and also to move a bit 'the car for me is a luxury almost completely useless because I do not go anywhere. Do I spending big once a week, on Friday. The other day I do the shopping trolley with small wheels, no one notices it because I'm old. I spent over an hour in the supermarket. The supermarket is huge and the morning was almost empty. I am fascinated by the objects for the house, I saw a marble mortar that I liked very much and would be ideal for making pesto, which I like, but then I said it would be yet another useless and I dropped the subject. I always go to the supermarket in the morning to the same case, where there is a guy who is just nice to me and treats me well, smiling, his name is Francesco, I know it is written on the tag. Francis was there today, I know I'm an old one and I impapero to put things in great haste in envelopes and then he does it for me (for the other does not do so), I thank him and that's it. At 11.30 am I was home, I was cooking for more than an hour cannelloni with spinach and ricotta cannelloni 24, I have removed two, the other I made them cool, and I put them in the freezer with the tag and date, then I thawed in the microwave and brush up the chicory baked potatoes. The bread I buy it by spending big on Friday and frozen and is enough for me all week. I do not eat meat rarely, I buy the fruit in the house every day and I use a lot. Cheap wine, a bottle of 750 is enough for me for four days. The coffee in general I am ready to take the bar, another opportunity to leave the house, it was too cold today and I made coffee at home. After lunch dishes, I usually use only one, today I also had pots of cannelloni and it took me a bit 'of time. If at the sink I'm very hurt and I also have to sit down, but I tried to do soon. In the afternoon I almost always a nap, up to an hour and I did so today, at half past two I was back in the chair. I see a bit 'of TV, if there are things that interest me, otherwise I start the PC and read. An object of secondary importance to my home phone, cell phone and I also use a fixed line for internet but I did not call anyone, if the phone rings the most likely thing is that they have the wrong number. I have no real friends, everyone lives for himself and his world, the relatives, I do not have relatives, only a brother does not live in Italy but in practice have no one, my brother would rarely feel a little more than at Easter and Christmas, he's younger than me by several years has a thousand things to do and a brother old (15 years old than me) might be only a nuisance for him and I on the other hand, while it lasts, I have no intention of being a burden to anyone. Today I thought was always present, namely the idea that sooner or later it will take a caregiver (or caregivers), but male or female does not change anything, it is the idea that I do not like. I have my things in my house, some old things, my books, my computer (that's the only new thing that I have) and lots of odds and ends that count a lot for me but for others it would just be garbage, I would not like that at all others will put their hands. After I am dead may even throw it all away, so surely will happen, while I'm alive but those things are mine, are sacred. I tried to hear people over the internet, not gay, when you get old because they are gay or not does not really do any difference, but it was people who wanted to go everywhere, which always had to organize something, in short, had a mania for do, but I'm a calm, I tried to run a bit 'below the needs of these people but I'm tired and I'm back on my own. The afternoon was cold even inside the house and I went back to bed with all her robe, a great feeling. Then it was dark, this season's dark now. When I'm in bed I like to remember my past life. In my life I conosciuto l’amore (se lo possiamo chiamare così) una volta sola, dai 31 ai 35 anni ho convissuto con un ragazzo, l’unica esperienza sessuale della mia vita, se rileggo le cose che scrivevo allora penso di averla vissuta come una cosa importante però poi la rottura è stata traumatica, faceva il doppio gioco, mi raccontava bugie e poi mi ha piantato. Al tempo ci sono stato male. Adesso non ho la più pallida idea di che fine abbia fatto quel ragazzo (aveva un anno meno di me). Ormai sono passati 31 anni e la cosa mi è del tutto indifferente, come se appartenesse alla vita di un altro. Non è a lui che penso quando sto a letto ma a quando stavo un po’ meglio in salute e me ne andavo in montagna alla casa di mio grandfather, an old house, isolated in a large meadow near a forest. That house I put everything in place, it took me ten years of work and savings, up to a dozen years ago I went there on weekends, when I was working again and we can dream of living in retirement, then board I went and got some heart problem and the doctor tells me that I should not go to the mountains, it's over so short, the house of his grandfather remained a monument to useless as many other things. The afternoon I went to the computer, I read the forum project gay and thought I'd write you this mail. It is only the life of an old, gay or not gay by now no longer matters at all, being gay has affected my past and left me alone now. I had to build a couple thinking about retirement? But I think if it went so well is because they had to go. Regret, no, I do not. Now I live my life day by day. Should I try to fill the lives of other things? Me to do? Trying to build all kinds of things? But I'm tired, I have a quiet life and I must go on. To the young people think of it, blessed them, now is the time that you can play their cards, or at least what it seems, then how you play games like it ends the game does not even depend on you. Now it's late, I send you the mail tomorrow morning, so I read slowly, I'm going to warm dinner and then see if there is anything worth seeing on TV. Hello Project. Good night.
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