Hello Project,
am a boy of 20 years, born in the U.S. but I've almost always lived in Italy. I speak English because my parents are American, but in practice until last year I was in the U.S. only for short periods, let's say I'm 90% Italian, I now live in the U.S. west coast, I'm in a residence for students at a large university on the west coast. I started to follow gay project some time ago and I continued in the USA. Who are gay do not even need to say it. I came here for the start of the academic year. First disappointment: I thought I knew well English, one written ok, talked to put me in big trouble. A lesson I understand everything, but when the boys talk to each other using a series of hints that I am only now beginning to goats. When I arrived here I was dreaming of college life, autonomy, do what you like but the second disappointment, I found what I was hoping and sometimes bitterly regret my Italian friends, even those straight. Here I see many gay, no wonder they are very standardized, there are even clubs gay college officials, however, beyond ritualism I see very little. Being gay is halfway between transgressive and snobbish attitude seems more than anything else. I was a celebration of the circle of gay college but it was depressing, while among gay men is all a particular language that was hard to understand, then beer and spirits to no end, all drunk and the party was reduced to this and some performance imitation of sexual abuse by anyone in the audience. Two or three boys accosted me also, a very nice, but so crazy to think that alcohol would also vomited blood. At the gay club, apart from the party, I was there once and I have set foot, is no place for me, too Italian, too type of mentality project gay to appreciate those things. The thing that shocked me the most however is the attitude Bait the boys and their utter lack of inhibition and disinhibition do not speak only to girls but also among them. Sometimes I felt terribly embarrassed and a couple of times I was going to make a fool terrible because they were so loose that I had no doubt that they were gay when they were not at all. We are housed in a large 8-storey building with huge corridors on which overlook the rooms, we all have a single bathroom with a shower but it is not uncommon that some shower does not work and then goes into the room of a friend. Once a guy comes to me and asked me to use the shower, I say yes, stripped naked in front of me and then he goes to the bathroom, no strips in the bathroom as they do in Italy, but in the room in front of me, but not limited to, over the shower naked in the back room, dries and dresses chatting with me, we are friends and know they are gay, you know! But it is not uncommon to see kids who walk naked through the corridors in the early morning after a shower in the room to another. I told my college friends in Italy that certain things would be unthinkable, and they said that there is no problem because we are all children (typical straight answer). I went with a group of friends at a party regular, ie not at a gay party, danced, and perhaps not only, you are secluded with only maybe a girls making out well but there were those who more or less together limonano , they were hugging each other, fondle each other, mimicking alleged gay sexual forms and above all they had absolutely afraid to go gay. That they were not at all I am sure, because I saw them with their girlfriends and sometimes I gave in my room and I was waiting outside, but those same guys I saw them, a little 'shine for the truth, to be Pampering is not just neutral with guys, I'm not talking about sexual matters, but that at least in Italy of tenderness between two guys you would never. I'm on the volleyball team and training (three times per week) are just the best of disinhibition, the nude is obvious that there is, there is also in Italy, but here come to get a saw in public in the shower and everyone laughs. As for me, after an initial period of confusion, I began to get used to these things that I require some self-control but I am sexually attractive but not overwhelming. My friends know that I'm gay and I noticed one thing, that is, that's very nonchalant attitudes who between them do not have them with me, but I do not think this comes from the fact that they know I am gay because my friend with another openly gay behave completely free. What amazes me here is that gays do not try to create an emotional relationship between them as strong as happens in Italy, the approach here is much more tied to the structures gay officers. They know I'm gay, and I think I'm a nice guy, but apart from the very direct approaches have attempted to party with me, say it with me, in serious terms, not anyone has tried. You used to say that "you have to put on the market" otherwise no one will look. In practice for the gay guys I've known here to be gay means to join a gay social life then you may also sexual contacts. Out of those official channels seems that gays do not exist. The fall in love with a boy, love him from boy to man, with no mediation here seems almost non-existent and probably would consider it strange. That is, if I am approaching one of my fellow gay (and there are), and I tried to tell him that I love and I want to be near him, but without going through the official rigmarole gay probably would consider it absurd. I feel that there is another world. I tried to read one of my gay friends to post here some of the gay project forum, or better, since I do not speak Italian translating for them, but the reaction was somewhat perplexed, said to me: "Why you Do all these problems? "and could not understand then and I envied them, but then they were amazed that in Italy you flirt with a guy like you a girl, who speaks of love, here you have as much sexual freedom But I want the boys are not brought at all to a affective view of homosexuality. I found just a guy who told me that after all we are lucky because in Italy there is a more serious view of homosexuality, but he is gay based on a design I think, unfortunately, that does not represent all the views of the average gay Italian. With this guy I have also tried to establish a minimum ratio: evenings alone talking on the beach on weekends, a certain intimacy (not sexual) words seemed to me something very early, but then I realized that he did not like at all and I froze when I said that instead of doing all that rigamarole, if I wanted to have sex with him was enough to say that he was fine, but I told him not cercavo sesso e mi ha guardato come se io fossi del tutto fuori di testa e così la storia è finita. Qui mi manca l’intimità affettiva coi miei amici gay e la possibilità di costruire un rapporto d’amore basato sulla tenerezza reciproca e sul volersi bene. Ho anche pensato che il mio disadattamento possa derivare da altre ragioni e cioè dal fatto che i miei compagni di università sono tutti di livello sociale piuttosto alto, direi nettamente più alto del mio, forse tra ragazzi diciamo così più della classe media le cose potrebbero essere molto più simili a quelle che vedevo in Italia. Adesso metto punto al mio sfogo, la realtà è che mi sento un pesce fuor d’acqua e che mi manca tanto l’Italia. I am gay, but I am a gay Italian, not a gay stars and stripes. A hug.
MK
am a boy of 20 years, born in the U.S. but I've almost always lived in Italy. I speak English because my parents are American, but in practice until last year I was in the U.S. only for short periods, let's say I'm 90% Italian, I now live in the U.S. west coast, I'm in a residence for students at a large university on the west coast. I started to follow gay project some time ago and I continued in the USA. Who are gay do not even need to say it. I came here for the start of the academic year. First disappointment: I thought I knew well English, one written ok, talked to put me in big trouble. A lesson I understand everything, but when the boys talk to each other using a series of hints that I am only now beginning to goats. When I arrived here I was dreaming of college life, autonomy, do what you like but the second disappointment, I found what I was hoping and sometimes bitterly regret my Italian friends, even those straight. Here I see many gay, no wonder they are very standardized, there are even clubs gay college officials, however, beyond ritualism I see very little. Being gay is halfway between transgressive and snobbish attitude seems more than anything else. I was a celebration of the circle of gay college but it was depressing, while among gay men is all a particular language that was hard to understand, then beer and spirits to no end, all drunk and the party was reduced to this and some performance imitation of sexual abuse by anyone in the audience. Two or three boys accosted me also, a very nice, but so crazy to think that alcohol would also vomited blood. At the gay club, apart from the party, I was there once and I have set foot, is no place for me, too Italian, too type of mentality project gay to appreciate those things. The thing that shocked me the most however is the attitude Bait the boys and their utter lack of inhibition and disinhibition do not speak only to girls but also among them. Sometimes I felt terribly embarrassed and a couple of times I was going to make a fool terrible because they were so loose that I had no doubt that they were gay when they were not at all. We are housed in a large 8-storey building with huge corridors on which overlook the rooms, we all have a single bathroom with a shower but it is not uncommon that some shower does not work and then goes into the room of a friend. Once a guy comes to me and asked me to use the shower, I say yes, stripped naked in front of me and then he goes to the bathroom, no strips in the bathroom as they do in Italy, but in the room in front of me, but not limited to, over the shower naked in the back room, dries and dresses chatting with me, we are friends and know they are gay, you know! But it is not uncommon to see kids who walk naked through the corridors in the early morning after a shower in the room to another. I told my college friends in Italy that certain things would be unthinkable, and they said that there is no problem because we are all children (typical straight answer). I went with a group of friends at a party regular, ie not at a gay party, danced, and perhaps not only, you are secluded with only maybe a girls making out well but there were those who more or less together limonano , they were hugging each other, fondle each other, mimicking alleged gay sexual forms and above all they had absolutely afraid to go gay. That they were not at all I am sure, because I saw them with their girlfriends and sometimes I gave in my room and I was waiting outside, but those same guys I saw them, a little 'shine for the truth, to be Pampering is not just neutral with guys, I'm not talking about sexual matters, but that at least in Italy of tenderness between two guys you would never. I'm on the volleyball team and training (three times per week) are just the best of disinhibition, the nude is obvious that there is, there is also in Italy, but here come to get a saw in public in the shower and everyone laughs. As for me, after an initial period of confusion, I began to get used to these things that I require some self-control but I am sexually attractive but not overwhelming. My friends know that I'm gay and I noticed one thing, that is, that's very nonchalant attitudes who between them do not have them with me, but I do not think this comes from the fact that they know I am gay because my friend with another openly gay behave completely free. What amazes me here is that gays do not try to create an emotional relationship between them as strong as happens in Italy, the approach here is much more tied to the structures gay officers. They know I'm gay, and I think I'm a nice guy, but apart from the very direct approaches have attempted to party with me, say it with me, in serious terms, not anyone has tried. You used to say that "you have to put on the market" otherwise no one will look. In practice for the gay guys I've known here to be gay means to join a gay social life then you may also sexual contacts. Out of those official channels seems that gays do not exist. The fall in love with a boy, love him from boy to man, with no mediation here seems almost non-existent and probably would consider it strange. That is, if I am approaching one of my fellow gay (and there are), and I tried to tell him that I love and I want to be near him, but without going through the official rigmarole gay probably would consider it absurd. I feel that there is another world. I tried to read one of my gay friends to post here some of the gay project forum, or better, since I do not speak Italian translating for them, but the reaction was somewhat perplexed, said to me: "Why you Do all these problems? "and could not understand then and I envied them, but then they were amazed that in Italy you flirt with a guy like you a girl, who speaks of love, here you have as much sexual freedom But I want the boys are not brought at all to a affective view of homosexuality. I found just a guy who told me that after all we are lucky because in Italy there is a more serious view of homosexuality, but he is gay based on a design I think, unfortunately, that does not represent all the views of the average gay Italian. With this guy I have also tried to establish a minimum ratio: evenings alone talking on the beach on weekends, a certain intimacy (not sexual) words seemed to me something very early, but then I realized that he did not like at all and I froze when I said that instead of doing all that rigamarole, if I wanted to have sex with him was enough to say that he was fine, but I told him not cercavo sesso e mi ha guardato come se io fossi del tutto fuori di testa e così la storia è finita. Qui mi manca l’intimità affettiva coi miei amici gay e la possibilità di costruire un rapporto d’amore basato sulla tenerezza reciproca e sul volersi bene. Ho anche pensato che il mio disadattamento possa derivare da altre ragioni e cioè dal fatto che i miei compagni di università sono tutti di livello sociale piuttosto alto, direi nettamente più alto del mio, forse tra ragazzi diciamo così più della classe media le cose potrebbero essere molto più simili a quelle che vedevo in Italia. Adesso metto punto al mio sfogo, la realtà è che mi sento un pesce fuor d’acqua e che mi manca tanto l’Italia. I am gay, but I am a gay Italian, not a gay stars and stripes. A hug.
MK
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