anxiety, namely the feeling of something dangerous dell'incombere uncontrollable and indefinable but at the same time, it presents in various ways in the life of all people, in practice no one can say 100% immune. Often the perception of anxiety is marked by feelings of emptiness, irritability, impatience of widespread, from feeling useless to spend the time as a progressive loss of opportunity. Anxiety is often accompanied by somatization in cardiac and blood pressure or insomnia or a state of agitation inconclusive. The anxiety often affects the normal activities of life or make it more difficult and hard-to-face, away from a rational and objective assessment of things and emphasizes the difficulties and risks, up to almost completely block the assets of a person and force her to seek support in psychotherapy and medication.
In the following I will stop talking only anxiety reaction, ie those of anxiety syndromes in which a causal factor precipitating factor, and often you can find on the environment, let alone the primary anxiety for which there seems to be able to identify determinants or contributing factors to environmental triggers. For clarity, I report some examples of reactive anxiety:
1) A student, placed in a classroom, often shows signs of anxiety: insomnia, episodic tachycardia, unexplained fears, irritability, difficulty concentrating, environmental mismatch. That same student, after changing class, not the same syndrome occurs more anxious, it is quiet and well placed in the new class.
2) A married man which has strained relations with his wife's family shows signs of anxiety when he moved to another city, away from his wife's family, does not show more signs of anxiety.
3) An elderly man who finds problems at work has tachycardia, feels overwhelmed by work and expects to be able to get in trouble at any moment for some reason I can not even clearly identified. The man, after he retired, he finds his peace and no longer manifestations of anxiety.
As you can see, the causes of anxiety are responsive not only related to the subject that the test but its interaction with the environment in difficult situations these anxiety-inducing special indeed. It is evident that among the anxiety-inducing situations must also be taken homosexuality, not homosexuality itself, but homosexuality in a homophobic environment. Let me stress that I do not mean here as homophobia activities more or less violent repression of his homosexuality, but a phobia of homosexuality, the tendency to exclude and marginalize. Homophobia is an insidious reality that often lurks under the guise of tolerance and respect. The root of homophobia is to perceive homosexuality as something other than itself as different and far beyond sexual orientation, as if sexual orientation constituted a dividing barrier between human groups.
homophobia can not be assessed in the abstract, nor exceed a rational and often homophobic people do not perceive their behavior as homophobic. Of course, very different is the perception of homophobia environment by those who suffer and live every day as a limitation of their freedom. Homosexuals are very sensitive to the implications of the homophobic attitudes of their families, their friends and the social environment in which they live. For a gay is to have more focused attention to determine "reactively" their behavior in order to decrease the environmental risk that homophobia is unleashed against him.
Some special situations may be particularly anxiety-inducing for a gay:
1) To be subjected to questions from parents and relatives such as "Do you have a girlfriend?"
2) Being the subject of attention at school by a serious girl who lived as a threat in relation to the group.
3) Being in the workplace very narrow and very gossipy as it is not possible to join themselves and maintain their privacy.
4) are provisionally also in situations of close coexistence with other people with whom we inevitably come to talk about emotional relationships and sexuality.
add to these situations, a fifth and a sixth that gays can be very highly anxiety-inducing:
5) Falling in love with a guy that you do not know the sexual orientation and enter into an endless path of indecision, fear and referrals.
6) Duty to hide their sexual orientation, a situation that may arise in attempts levels, from the anxiety of coming out with a trusted friend to have to lie to your spouse by a gay married.
So far we have talked only in general terms of anxiety, but for the gay, anxiety often manifests itself in dimensions closely related to sexuality. Internalization homophobia in the gay environment brings to the non-acceptance of self and often leads them to unconsciously groped the road from heterosexual sex. This is real self-taxation that result in so-called "sexual experiments" I try to stay with a girl, if I can say that they are heterosexual. This is actually a mechanism in which neurotic anxiety has the dominant part. The experiment is deeply wanted sex but not as a form of sexuality but as a test that can confirm a suspected identity straight. I can not emphasize enough the absolute absurdity of the advice that some psychologists give to their patients when they see them not too convinced of their sexuality straight, pushing them to "try gay sex." It makes no sense to "test" gay sex to assess their reactions, as it makes no sense to go with a girl to see his being straight. Sexual orientation is not related to the conduct but the sexual desires. There are gay men who are married, their lives as a couple is 100% hetero but their sexual fantasies are not straight and their key masturbation is gay. To understand its orientation so it's not to prove sexual behavior of gay or straight couples, which, among other things, can be hazardous to health, but to put aside "gradually" their conditioning to win first of all genuine freedom in terms of sexual fantasies and masturbation. Among other things, the anxiety arising from issues of sexual orientation conceived as a problem, very often results in consequences, too heavy, issues that have nothing to do son's sexuality and in particular studies. When the mind focuses on research at all costs an answer to a problem related to sexuality and to minimize end up neglecting the fundamental aspects of social life and relationships. In some cases the abandonment of the study as a result of an anxious way of living sexuality causes more uncertainty and anxious feelings that extend slowly anche molto al di fuori della sessualità. In queste situazioni non ha alcun senso cercare a oltranza risposte certe e definitive seguendo una spinta di tipo nevrotico, bisogna invece mettersi bene in mente che in certe cose le risposte certe e definitive non esistono proprio e che l’ansia si supera solo rendendosene conto e mettendo definitivamente da parte l’idea di incasellarsi in questa o in quella categoria, ma aggiungo una cosa, riprendere gli studi, se gli studi sono stati trascurati o messi da parte, significa non solo cercare di non creare ulteriori problemi per il futuro in termini di lavoro e di prospettive economiche ma anche allontanarsi dall’idea di avere un problema che deve essere risolto presto e in via definitiva. In pratica return to normal activities of work or study represents the most significant symptom of the excess anxiety and therapy more useful in that sense. Add the anxiety that is often perceived as resulting from uncertainties of sexual orientation has in fact very different origins, because the gay sexual orientation per se, in a serene environment, does not raise anxiety reactions. We must start realizing that the problem is not brought it in, do not we create it, but it is a reaction to a difficult environmental situation. An external problem must not become an internal problem and the myth of homosexuality in a negative spread in a homophobic climate should not be internalized. The feeling of loneliness is to be considered a result of a momentary state of the environment because it is really difficult and so these situations may very well change. This applies as a guideline for overcoming anxiety on the part of test anxiety at first, but there is to keep in mind that the main route for overcoming social anxiety is the affective, that is to have around him a true network of emotional relationships that convey feelings of security and stability. Often when you realize you have friends come anxious scruples about the talk with them clearly of all, because they may feel uncomfortable and easy to assume the source to people anxious or reluctant attitudes clearly false for a good purpose. As in all relationships between people, the wrong thing is playing a part, play a role "for the sake of another person". One thing to avoid against people very anxious and trying to convince them by force of reasoning and examples that anxiety can and must be overcome. Against the anxiety it should get involved in a lot of emotional climate as it is true even counter any form of abstract reasoning. It often happens that matters not in itself be no problems at all but lived anxiously as problems. In these situations, the comparison and dialogue with people who have similar experience is essential to understand how others react to situations similar to those which we live and defuse. Feel like the only person ever to face an urgent and difficult solution is stressful and anxiety, realizing that the alleged problem is really a problem only insofar as it is considered that this and many other people have been or are facing similar situations is much more reassuring and above and much more real.
In the following I will stop talking only anxiety reaction, ie those of anxiety syndromes in which a causal factor precipitating factor, and often you can find on the environment, let alone the primary anxiety for which there seems to be able to identify determinants or contributing factors to environmental triggers. For clarity, I report some examples of reactive anxiety:
1) A student, placed in a classroom, often shows signs of anxiety: insomnia, episodic tachycardia, unexplained fears, irritability, difficulty concentrating, environmental mismatch. That same student, after changing class, not the same syndrome occurs more anxious, it is quiet and well placed in the new class.
2) A married man which has strained relations with his wife's family shows signs of anxiety when he moved to another city, away from his wife's family, does not show more signs of anxiety.
3) An elderly man who finds problems at work has tachycardia, feels overwhelmed by work and expects to be able to get in trouble at any moment for some reason I can not even clearly identified. The man, after he retired, he finds his peace and no longer manifestations of anxiety.
As you can see, the causes of anxiety are responsive not only related to the subject that the test but its interaction with the environment in difficult situations these anxiety-inducing special indeed. It is evident that among the anxiety-inducing situations must also be taken homosexuality, not homosexuality itself, but homosexuality in a homophobic environment. Let me stress that I do not mean here as homophobia activities more or less violent repression of his homosexuality, but a phobia of homosexuality, the tendency to exclude and marginalize. Homophobia is an insidious reality that often lurks under the guise of tolerance and respect. The root of homophobia is to perceive homosexuality as something other than itself as different and far beyond sexual orientation, as if sexual orientation constituted a dividing barrier between human groups.
homophobia can not be assessed in the abstract, nor exceed a rational and often homophobic people do not perceive their behavior as homophobic. Of course, very different is the perception of homophobia environment by those who suffer and live every day as a limitation of their freedom. Homosexuals are very sensitive to the implications of the homophobic attitudes of their families, their friends and the social environment in which they live. For a gay is to have more focused attention to determine "reactively" their behavior in order to decrease the environmental risk that homophobia is unleashed against him.
Some special situations may be particularly anxiety-inducing for a gay:
1) To be subjected to questions from parents and relatives such as "Do you have a girlfriend?"
2) Being the subject of attention at school by a serious girl who lived as a threat in relation to the group.
3) Being in the workplace very narrow and very gossipy as it is not possible to join themselves and maintain their privacy.
4) are provisionally also in situations of close coexistence with other people with whom we inevitably come to talk about emotional relationships and sexuality.
add to these situations, a fifth and a sixth that gays can be very highly anxiety-inducing:
5) Falling in love with a guy that you do not know the sexual orientation and enter into an endless path of indecision, fear and referrals.
6) Duty to hide their sexual orientation, a situation that may arise in attempts levels, from the anxiety of coming out with a trusted friend to have to lie to your spouse by a gay married.
So far we have talked only in general terms of anxiety, but for the gay, anxiety often manifests itself in dimensions closely related to sexuality. Internalization homophobia in the gay environment brings to the non-acceptance of self and often leads them to unconsciously groped the road from heterosexual sex. This is real self-taxation that result in so-called "sexual experiments" I try to stay with a girl, if I can say that they are heterosexual. This is actually a mechanism in which neurotic anxiety has the dominant part. The experiment is deeply wanted sex but not as a form of sexuality but as a test that can confirm a suspected identity straight. I can not emphasize enough the absolute absurdity of the advice that some psychologists give to their patients when they see them not too convinced of their sexuality straight, pushing them to "try gay sex." It makes no sense to "test" gay sex to assess their reactions, as it makes no sense to go with a girl to see his being straight. Sexual orientation is not related to the conduct but the sexual desires. There are gay men who are married, their lives as a couple is 100% hetero but their sexual fantasies are not straight and their key masturbation is gay. To understand its orientation so it's not to prove sexual behavior of gay or straight couples, which, among other things, can be hazardous to health, but to put aside "gradually" their conditioning to win first of all genuine freedom in terms of sexual fantasies and masturbation. Among other things, the anxiety arising from issues of sexual orientation conceived as a problem, very often results in consequences, too heavy, issues that have nothing to do son's sexuality and in particular studies. When the mind focuses on research at all costs an answer to a problem related to sexuality and to minimize end up neglecting the fundamental aspects of social life and relationships. In some cases the abandonment of the study as a result of an anxious way of living sexuality causes more uncertainty and anxious feelings that extend slowly anche molto al di fuori della sessualità. In queste situazioni non ha alcun senso cercare a oltranza risposte certe e definitive seguendo una spinta di tipo nevrotico, bisogna invece mettersi bene in mente che in certe cose le risposte certe e definitive non esistono proprio e che l’ansia si supera solo rendendosene conto e mettendo definitivamente da parte l’idea di incasellarsi in questa o in quella categoria, ma aggiungo una cosa, riprendere gli studi, se gli studi sono stati trascurati o messi da parte, significa non solo cercare di non creare ulteriori problemi per il futuro in termini di lavoro e di prospettive economiche ma anche allontanarsi dall’idea di avere un problema che deve essere risolto presto e in via definitiva. In pratica return to normal activities of work or study represents the most significant symptom of the excess anxiety and therapy more useful in that sense. Add the anxiety that is often perceived as resulting from uncertainties of sexual orientation has in fact very different origins, because the gay sexual orientation per se, in a serene environment, does not raise anxiety reactions. We must start realizing that the problem is not brought it in, do not we create it, but it is a reaction to a difficult environmental situation. An external problem must not become an internal problem and the myth of homosexuality in a negative spread in a homophobic climate should not be internalized. The feeling of loneliness is to be considered a result of a momentary state of the environment because it is really difficult and so these situations may very well change. This applies as a guideline for overcoming anxiety on the part of test anxiety at first, but there is to keep in mind that the main route for overcoming social anxiety is the affective, that is to have around him a true network of emotional relationships that convey feelings of security and stability. Often when you realize you have friends come anxious scruples about the talk with them clearly of all, because they may feel uncomfortable and easy to assume the source to people anxious or reluctant attitudes clearly false for a good purpose. As in all relationships between people, the wrong thing is playing a part, play a role "for the sake of another person". One thing to avoid against people very anxious and trying to convince them by force of reasoning and examples that anxiety can and must be overcome. Against the anxiety it should get involved in a lot of emotional climate as it is true even counter any form of abstract reasoning. It often happens that matters not in itself be no problems at all but lived anxiously as problems. In these situations, the comparison and dialogue with people who have similar experience is essential to understand how others react to situations similar to those which we live and defuse. Feel like the only person ever to face an urgent and difficult solution is stressful and anxiety, realizing that the alleged problem is really a problem only insofar as it is considered that this and many other people have been or are facing similar situations is much more reassuring and above and much more real.
__________
Se volete, potete partecipare alla discussione di questo post aperta sul Forum di Progetto G ay:
0 comments:
Post a Comment