This post is to point out the mechanism of repression of homosexuality.
Sexual orientation is not a choice but a matter of fact, it is not the place to ask what caused them, what concerns us here is that sexual orientation has nothing to do with the choices of an individual, straight, gay or bisexual is or is not but it certainly does not choose to be or not to be.
In dealing with issues related to sexual orientation is passed from unconsciousness to consciousness of being gay and then the acceptance of being gay, if they are not external factors disturbing the transition is gradual and non-traumatic and can be highly variable with the time pattern. There are guys that 14 years have fully accepted their homosexuality, and there are adult men who are unable to accept even 50 years and we will soon see why.
Factors that may affect the process towards the awareness and acceptance are many and vary widely depending on age and individual condition, we all slow down or prevent the acceptance of homosexuality factors and are therefore spontaneous repression of sexuality.
Before puberty it is improper to speak of homosexuality, the term has a specific meaning only after puberty when a boy begins to experience physical sexuality and discovers masturbation. This is where the first forms of repression of sexuality, both heterosexual and one of the gay, based on feelings of guilt related to masturbation. These are the years in which a boy sees something very private and masturbation forbidden and tries to carve out spaces that allow for privacy of sexual exploration not put at risk from disturbing elements. The moralistic religious awareness and education, which sees something morbid sexuality, can repress sexuality in the bud and tie it firmly to guilt. These mechanisms apply to all students, straight and gay, but while around 11/13 years for boys heterosexual peer group tends to have heterosexual sexuality, particularly in key hetero masturbation as a failure in Somehow you need to become large, and this phenomenon relieves the repressive capacity of faith-based mechanisms and strengthen the family and kids in a sense of belonging to the group, based on their sexuality is like that of other children, for boys gay peer group acts in the opposite direction because gay sexuality is heavily branded with epithets of various kinds. A gay guy does not acknowledge the sexual experience of his comrades and realize that while they can talk about their experiences and boast to be considered large for him, this possibility is ruled out. These are the terrible years of high school, probably the most unpleasant for a gay guy who has to realize that her sexuality is not only different from that of other children but is considered degrading and dirty. This fact often leads to radical forms of repression of gay sexuality of younger men, but only its visible manifestations. A 14 year old boy, however, explicitly does not court her a companion because it affects the social reaction to this, but sexuality is not gay masturbation is usually totally conditioned by social attitudes. I should note that in most cases not even on religious repression can lead to feelings of guilt in children younger than their source to be gay. The kids who go to church, confess that he had masturbated, masturbated with fantasies of having not gay, that they feel guilty as the act and not the fantasy that determines it. Many kids are so far in terms spontaneous, from considering homosexuality in itself a crime when they realize that the church condemns homosexuality remain perplexed. Basically I mean that homosexuality is discovered through masturbation after puberty is influenced by constraints that hamper the external manifestations but still can not blame the eyes of children.
So far we dealt with children who have lived their childhood and their pre-adolescence smoothly and without any lack of affection. The speech is certainly more complicated when children grow up in stressful situations or are subjected to trauma (watch scenes of violence, suffering physical violence from parte di familiari, essere coinvolti inconsapevolmente in attività sessuali da parte di adulti). Su queste situazioni, come su quelle dei ragazzi che manifestano forme significative di ansia o toni marcatamente depressivi già in età adolescenziale o che presentano disturbi caratterizzati da idee ricorrenti dalle quali non sembra possibile liberarsi, bisognerebbe allargare molto il discorso. Il periodo che va dagli 11 ai 14 anni è in realtà delicatissimo, si pongono le basi emotive e psicologiche della sessualità ed è bene che questo accada in un clima sereno, senza tensioni emotive e con degli esempi di rapporti affettivi familiari che possano essere punti di riferimento.
Ma lasciando da parte queste situazioni decisamente più complesse e chiediamoci perché i meccanismi repressivi della sessualità gay agiscono in modo più pesante sui ragazzi più grandi e sugli adulti che non sui ragazzi più giovani. Per dare una risposta a questa domanda dobbiamo tenere presente che un ragazzo giovanissimo va strutturando la propria sessualità e la costruisce senza bisogno di demolire nulla, per un ragazzo grande e per un adulto, che hanno già una sessualità strutturata, lasciare libero lo sviluppo della propria sessualità gay può richiedere un processo di destrutturazione della propria identità sessuale precedente, cioè della precedente coscienza di una diversa identità sexual. In other words, a big boy or an adult to accept his gay sexual identity has to demolish the concept of himself as a heterosexual that has to be able to replace with a different sense of themselves as gay and all that met considerable resistance.
generally to meet the stronger forms of repression of homosexuality is not the gay guys who have felt from the beginning but after those who have formed a consciousness of themselves as heterosexual are in terms of having to undermine much of the structure of their personality. In essence, the real mechanisms involved in suppression of homosexuality a tutela di una sessualità già strutturata in un altro modo. La domanda che sorge spontanea è però perché un gay possa finire per strutturare una sessualità etero, cioè per avere di se stesso un’immagine come di un sé etero? Qui il meccanismo non è repressivo e deriva in sostanza da un insieme di errori interpretativi nei quali si cade o si è indotti a cadere per il fatto che siamo immersi in una società che sottolinea i segnali di tipo etero e trascura del tutto quelli di tipo gay.
Faccio un solo esempio prendendo in considerazione due situazioni simmetriche, nella prima un ragazzo che si ritiene gay avverte pulsioni etero mentre the second a boy believed to heterosexual impulses warns gay. We will see if there can be no misinterpretation in both cases, the sexual repression works only in the second, that is for the guy who has always believed that test drives straight and gay.
A gay guy, that is, a guy who has a gay sex masturbation, which is in a sexual situation involving a girl, goes to the erection, sexual desire can try for that girl, can reach also to have sexual intercourse with her, even addictive. Based on the model of interpretation related to the "behavior" sexual snaps plea: "I can have sex with a girl so rewarding, so I'm straight!" This reasoning is comforting because, inter alia, shall release the boy from the complications that would be gay and is reassuring in terms of social acceptance. In underestimate masturbation gay sexuality in favor of heterosexual couples to identify their sexual orientation does not operate any form of repression.
If we consider a guy who has always felt straight, that is, with masturbation and with a couple sexuality consistently straight, and hypothesized that this guy starts to experience sexual attraction to another boy to the point of masturbation or even thinking about that boy to have sex with him, we'll automatically deduct the same: "I'm sexually attracted to a guy, so I'm gay!" because in this case deduction would be destabilizing, and should accept deconstruct the vision of himself as a heterosexual to replace it with a vision of themselves as gay. These are the typical situations in which triggered the repression of gay sexuality. The boy who thinks he's hetero guy who stops to attend the wakes of sexual responses because this way the risk of destabilizing their sexuality decreases, but as this usually is not enough, even forcibly stop masturbating because his gay masturbation would be key, which undermines the heterosexual sexual identity.
I want to emphasize a key element: repression of gay sexuality has two complementary aspects: the first is expressed in avoiding every occasion of sexual arousal in key gay and the second manifests itself in an intensified activity heterosexual sex at the level of torque, the latter mechanism often leads to neurotic reactions because it is not desired for reasons of sexual affection but related mechanisms confirmation of their sexual identity. In some cases, the repression of sexuality leads to irrevocable decisions as gay marriage, which is considered in these cases of homosexuality as a medicine, it makes no sense under any point of view. Homosexuality, however repressed, however, end up sooner or later to return to the surface.
add another important thing. A push forcefully toward heterosexuality gay guys who repress their homosexuality in favor of a possible relationship of couples and heterosexual marriage are often at the limit of their girls who do not have the faintest idea what homosexuality really is and who feel most ready to lead, or trying to encourage their children to exclusive heterosexuality on the basis of seductive women. These things, at first, seem to also be successful because the elimination of gay sexuality is compensated by a more intense and hetero sexuality is more socially accepted and encouraged that gives the feeling of being really straight. But by far the mechanism is worn and often the same girls who have encouraged their children to gay marriage find themselves in positions of stark contrast with their husbands they can not in any way accept homosexuality. A woman heterosexual married a gay man because he thinks that is gay or not is more, because it identifies the boy's sexual orientation with sexual behavior they see and not with the sexual desires that can not see, when she discovers that her husband is really gay marriage and that in a situation feels uncomfortable he gets angry with her husband a traitor of marriage, but the reality, if the guy said how things were before marriage and the girl came to his decision to marry the same often it is the responsibility of family members and characters of different types and not knowing anything about homosexuality are as trusted advisors in such a sensitive area.
a remark. From the repression of homosexuality tied to the mechanisms we have described above is only exits if the environment is favorable and if a gay man has the courage to say the truth, which is never a given. There are people who prefer to repress or perhaps not in fact have no choice. In any case you can not replace a repressed gay and trying to get him out of the sexual repression on the basis of our way of seeing things out of self-imposed sexual repression is not easy nor is it said that it nevertheless has a positive result if the conditions required.
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